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King Saul’s life in 1 Samuel 22–26 reveals how unrepentant sin can destroy the mind and heart. Saul’s jealousy of David grew into paranoia, self-pity, and ultimately madness. Yet David, who walked closely with God, displayed peace and wisdom. Learn that true wisdom—and true mental and spiritual stability—come only from walking with God.
Table of contents
The first mission trip I went on was with my previous church, Grace Baptist. We traveled with World Impact to Los Angeles, primarily for a work trip to assist them with repairs to one of their buildings. However, we also conducted some evangelism in Central City East, which is more commonly referred to as Skid Row. It contains one of the largest populations of homeless people in the United States.
You can see that many of the homeless people are mentally ill. Now, let me be clear: I believe some of these individuals are mentally ill through no fault of their own. Their mental illness is no more their fault than other illnesses or diseases are anyone’s fault. However, just as some illnesses and diseases are caused by sin, mental illness can also result from sin.
Sin Can Cause Mental Illness
Saul is one of the most vivid portrayals of mental illness in Scripture. We can watch his mental decline throughout 1 Samuel.
Saul’s Violent Outbursts
I believe his sickness began with his insane jealousy of David:
1 Samuel 18:7 The women sang…“Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” 8 Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 And Saul eyed David from that day on.
Soon after this, there are three recorded instances of Saul trying to pin David to the wall with his spear. When Saul started to believe his son, Jonathan, was with David, he also began trying to kill him. These violent outbursts show him unraveling mentally.
Saul’s Paranoia
David knew he was no longer safe in Jerusalem, so he fled and began hiding in the Judean wilderness. Saul went after him:
1 Samuel 22:6 Now Saul heard that David was discovered, and the men who were with him. Saul was sitting at Gibeah under the tamarisk tree on the height with his spear in his hand, and all his servants were standing about him.
Saul is sitting under a tree in the shade while all his servants are standing around him. When Saul has his spear in his hand, you try to fade into the background and hope he doesn’t notice you. Now Saul begins scolding his men:
1 Samuel 22:7 And Saul said to his servants who stood about him, “Hear now, people of Benjamin; will the son of Jesse give every one of you fields and vineyards, will he make you all commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds,
Saul is from the tribe of Benjamin, and David is from the tribe of Judah; therefore, Saul appeals to their tribal loyalties to persuade them to support him instead of David. But, knowing that’s not enough, he also tries to bribe them, letting them know that since he’s king, he’s the one who can give them land and promotions: “David is a fugitive. He’s in exile. He can’t give you anything. He has nothing to offer. Don’t support him. But I can give you whatever you want, so you should support me.” He’s like a corrupt politician
1 Samuel 22:8 that all of you have conspired against me? No one discloses to me when my son makes a covenant with the son of Jesse (referring to David; Saul won’t even use his name). None of you is sorry for me or discloses to me that my son has stirred up my servant (referring to David) against me, to lie in wait, as at this day.”
Notice the repetition of the words’ me’ and ‘my,’ and picture Saul saying this in a whiny voice. It must have been miserable serving Saul. This has to be the worst pity party in all of Scripture. It’s almost hard to imagine a grown man talking this way, say nothing about the king of Israel. He even said, “None of you is sorry for me.” He really thinks he’s the victim, even though he’s trying to murder David.
Paranoia is one of the other hallmarks of mental illness, and Saul thinks everyone is against him: first, David, his most loyal general, then his son, Jonathan, whom he suspected of turning David against him, and now he thinks all of his men are conspiring against him. And it gets even worse. Much worse. The rest of this chapter is one of the darkest in the Old Testament. Saul becomes convinced that a town of priests is against him, so he has all of them murdered.
Saul’s First Mental Breakdown
There were up to 3,500 caves and underground chambers in the Judean wilderness, and David and his men were hiding in them. You would think there’s almost no chance of Saul being able to find David, but in a dramatic example of God’s providence, Saul had to go to the bathroom, and he chose the cave where David and his men were hiding.
Before Saul went to the bathroom, he took off his robe, set it on the ground, and David was able to cut off a corner of it without Saul knowing. Then, when they left the cave, David called out to Saul, told him he could have killed him, showed him the corner of the robe as evidence, and, wanting to convince Saul that he meant him no harm, he humbly compared himself to a dead dog and a flea that Saul didn’t need to worry about:
1 Samuel 24:16 As soon as David had finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, “Is this your voice, my son David?” And Saul lifted up his voice and wept.
Picture what this looked like: Saul has been trying to kill David. Now he’s crying in front of all of his men and calling David his son.
My Friend’s Bipolar Disorder
I have a good friend, and if it wasn’t for him, I might doubt that bipolar disorder is a real mental illness, suspecting that it is just one more worldly explanation to excuse people’s poor behavior. But I still remember the first time my friend called me about 15 years ago during one of his manic episodes. He was a completely different, unrecognizable, and unreasonable person.
Over the years, there have been more phone calls, sometimes when he’s manic and other times when he’s depressed. During these episodes, he swings back and forth between mania and depression, sometimes over the course of days or even hours. He will call me and be the happiest person in the world, only to call the next day and be so depressed that he says he wants his life to end.
Saul’s Bipolar Disorder or Unrepentance?
Now, let’s connect this to Saul: he’s unbalanced and losing his mind, and if he were alive today and visited a psychiatrist, I don’t think it would take long before he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
He would be told he had some hormone imbalance, a thyroid disorder, neurotransmitter issues, nutritional deficiencies, an overactive or underactive gland, or maybe some environmental issue like mold in the palace, or trauma from his past that caused his illness.
But here’s the truth: While these issues might contribute to other people’s illnesses, Saul didn’t have any of these problems. His problem was unrepentance. He was a proud man who often felt sorry for himself, repeatedly played the victim, and wouldn’t turn from his sins when confronted, and it drove him crazy.
1 Samuel 14:35 Saul built an altar to the Lord; it was the first altar that he built to the Lord.
I read this and think, “Are you kidding me? This was the first altar Saul had ever built!” How could he grow up in Israel, become a man with a family, and have never built an altar? But it reveals how little of a relationship he had with God. When Saul didn’t slaughter all of the Amalekites, Samuel confronted him, and Saul kept referring to God as “Your God.” Saul never had a relationship with the Lord.
The Wisdom From Walking with God
There is a wisdom that comes from walking with God, and Saul didn’t have it. Proverbs is the book of wisdom, and this is one of the main themes. There are many verses I could share with you, but here are just two…
Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom
Wisdom begins with a relationship with the Lord. So, people who don’t know the Lord lack wisdom. They look foolish and confused.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
When we walk with the Lord, we are guided along straight paths in life. On the other hand, those who don’t walk with the Lord will lack straight paths and may face instability at best, or chaos at worst.
It is one of God’s graces when we’re able to meet people who have walked with the Lord for a long time. Their lives are not absent from trials, but they are still characterized by peace and harmony. The other side of this is that if wisdom and peace come from knowing and walking with the Lord, then those who reject God, like Saul did for years, often lack these qualities. Their lives are frequently marked by turmoil and confusion, just like Saul’s.
Saul’s Change of Heart?
Speaking of Saul’s confused life, look at his response, and notice it sounds like an incredible change of heart:
1 Samuel 24:17 He said to David, “You are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil. 18 And you have declared this day how you have dealt well with me, in that you did not kill me when the Lord put me into your hands. 19 For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him go away safe? So may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done to me this day. 20 And now, behold, I know that you shall surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand. 21 Swear to me therefore by the Lord that you will not cut off my offspring after me, and that you will not destroy my name out of my father’s house.”
This must have been everything David had hoped to hear from Saul. Now he can return to Jerusalem, see his wife, Michal, and his friends and family again, right? Nope:
1 Samuel 24:22 And David swore this to Saul. Then Saul went home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold.
Saul returned to Jerusalem, but David returned to his stronghold in the wilderness. He probably thought to himself, “As long as Saul is in Jerusalem, I can’t be there.” He knew that Saul’s confession was insincere, and he was right:
1 Samuel 26:1 Then the Ziphites came to Saul at Gibeah, saying, “Is not David hiding himself on the hill of Hachilah, which is on the east of Jeshimon?” 2 So Saul arose and went down to the wilderness of Ziph with three thousand chosen men of Israel to seek David in the wilderness of Ziph.
As soon as the Ziphites told Saul where David was, he went after him. Perhaps it was because Saul viewed David as a son, missed him, and wanted to visit him, bring him gifts, and invite him to return to Jerusalem. After all the crying and promises, Saul went right back to trying to murder David.
Saul’s Second Mental Breakdown
David still wants to convince Saul that he means him no harm, so he decided to approach Saul’s camp at night secretly. He asked who would go with him on this dangerous mission, and his nephew Abishai volunteered. They snuck into the middle of the camp, found Saul asleep with his spear stuck in the ground by his head, and all Saul’s soldiers asleep around him. Abishai asked David if he could take Saul’s spear and use it to kill him. Ironically, Saul could have been killed by the same spear he’d been throwing at everyone around him. But David restrained Abishai and took Saul’s spear and water jug to prove to Saul that he wouldn’t harm him.
Then David and Abishai snuck out of the camp and, standing on a cliff nearby, David called out to Saul’s general, Abner, criticized him for not protecting his king, Saul, and showed the spear and water jug as proof that he had spared Saul’s life. Again. But Saul had another emotional breakdown:
1 Samuel 26:17 Saul recognized David’s voice and said, “Is this your voice, my son David?” And David said, “It is my voice, my lord, O king.”
The same thing Saul said in chapter 24. Saul’s bipolar disorder continues with these wild mood swings: wanting to murder David and then viewing him as a son. Again. In verses 18 through 20, David again lets Saul know he means him no harm and humbly compares himself to a flea that poses him no threat. Saul responds:
1 Samuel 26:21 Then Saul said, “I have sinned. Return, my son David, for I will no more do you harm, because my life was precious in your eyes this day. Behold, I have acted foolishly, and have made a great mistake.” 22 And David answered and said, “Here is the spear, O king! Let one of the young men come over and take it.
More wonderful words from Saul. By this point, he has become a professional confessor. David said, “Here’s the spear you’ve been throwing at me. You can have it back!” You might expect David to keep this spear far away from Saul, but he remained wise: instead of bringing the spear to Saul or inviting him to retrieve it, he told Saul to send one of his soldiers for it. Saul admitted he acted foolishly, but there was no reason for David to act foolishly as well:
1 Samuel 27:1 Then David said in his heart, “Now I shall perish one day by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than that I should escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will despair of seeking me any longer within the borders of Israel, and I shall escape out of his hand.”
David knew Saul hadn’t changed. Consider this: he felt safer with a bunch of Philistines than he felt with a confessing, weeping, apologetic Saul. And David was right:
1 Samuel 27:4 And when it was told Saul that David had fled to Gath, he no longer sought him.
This means Saul had gone back to pursuing David again. The only reason he stopped was that he didn’t want to be killed by the Philistines.
Outward Sorrow Is not Evidence of Repentance
This is one of the most important lessons we can learn from Saul about repentance.
The summer before I started my freshman year at the Florida Institute of Technology, I received a letter from the school informing me that my roommate would be William Neller III, a computer engineering major. Now, let’s be honest, when you think of a computer engineering student named William Neller III, you picture a big nerd, don’t you? He was big, but not in a nerdy way. When William, who went by Bill, walked into our room, he was about 6’3”, 250 pounds, and it didn’t look like he had any fat on him. To give you an idea of how muscular Bill was, he attended our fraternity’s Halloween party dressed as the Incredible Hulk, and all he did was paint his skin green. That was his costume. I had never lifted weights before, but the moment I saw Bill take his shirt off was the moment I wanted to become a bodybuilder. Over the next 20 years, I worked out regularly and occasionally did some personal training.
Through my own training and personal training, I learned that most people don’t know how to build muscle because they confuse two key concepts: fatigue and overload. Fatigue builds endurance, while overload builds muscle.
People often fatigue their muscles with higher reps and more sets because it feels good and fills the muscle with blood and lactic acid, causing the muscle to temporarily swell, commonly known as the pump. This builds endurance well, but it doesn’t effectively build muscle. Instead, short, intense workouts with progressively heavier weights overload the muscle and promote growth. For a good illustration of this, contrast the build of a marathon runner, who fatigues his muscles to build endurance, with that of a sprinter, who overloads his muscles to run as fast as possible.
Now, here’s why I’m sharing this with you: Just as I was confused about what produced muscle growth when I first started working out, I was also confused about what produced repentance when I first became a Christian. Just as I thought fatigue produced muscle growth when I first started working out, I thought outward sorrow produced repentance when I first became a Christian.
I believed that the sadder someone looked, the sorrier they must be. If there were lots of crying and sobbing, along with many promises about what they would never do again, and assurances about what they would do (such as going to church, praying, and reading the Bible), these are all good outward signs of sorrow, and I thought they must be repentant. But Saul shows us this isn’t true: All the crying, promises, outward signs of sorrow, but no repentance.
Jimmy Swaggart’s Outward Sorrow
We’re talking about people in Scripture who said, “I have sinned,” without repenting. Let me give you a more recent example of someone who said, “I have sinned,” but didn’t seem to repent. Jimmy Swaggart was a Pentecostal televangelist and pastor, and I’m using the term pastor loosely. In 1988, he was caught committing adultery with prostitutes. Then he famously delivered what came to be known as his “I have sinned” speech. The camera zoomed in on his face with tears streaming down, and I imagine it would be hard for anyone to look sorrier than him.
Three years later, Jimmy was caught with another prostitute. This time, rather than confessing, he told his congregation, “The Lord told me it’s flat none of your business.”I hope Jimmy repented at some point. But despite all the weeping and sorrow, based on getting caught doing the same thing a few years later, it seems like he didn’t.
I know there’s a place for public repentance, especially among prominent church leaders, but I’ve become convinced that when repentance is turned into a big public spectacle, especially after the person has already been caught, it raises questions about its genuineness.
Noah’s And David’s Repentance
I wasn’t going to mention Noah’s name, but when I spoke with him about the situation to make sure I had the details right, he told me I could use his name. I brought him to my office to confront him about something he did. He simply said, “I’m sorry, Dad,” while actually fighting back tears. I appreciated that my child was trying to remain composed while taking responsibility for their actions.
I know there can be a place for crying when repenting, but I also know that sometimes all the sobbing is more manipulative than anything else. Noah made me think about the most famous confession in Scripture. Another individual who said, “I have sinned,” but meant it. Nathan confronted David for committing adultery and murder, and then it says:
2 Samuel 12:13 David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
That’s it. It is surprisingly short. There’s no record of any sobbing, swearing, or promises. It’s refreshing because it is honest, sincere, and to the point. It is quite the contrast to Saul and Jimmy Swaggart.
Again, I’m not saying that a sincere confession can’t involve outward sorrow or weeping, but I want to make the point, as the lesson suggests, that it isn’t evidence of genuine repentance. And why is that? Because true repentance doesn’t take place outwardly: it takes place in the heart. The evidence of genuine repentance is change; hence, bear fruit in keeping with repentance. It’s not about what’s said. It’s about what’s produced.
Gain Wisdom from walking with God
Saul’s life stands as one of the most tragic accounts in Scripture. He started with so much promise: chosen by God, empowered by the Spirit, and blessed with victory. But he allowed sin to take root in his heart. He refused to repent and drifted further from God until he was consumed by jealousy, paranoia, and madness.
Sin always makes us irrational and chaotic; it clouds judgment, distorts reality, and steals peace. The further we move from God, the more confused and unstable life becomes. But the opposite is also true. When we walk with God, our minds become clearer. Our lives are not free from trials, but they do become steady and calm:
Isaiah 26:3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
If your life feels chaotic or unstable, perhaps the answer lies in repentance: turning back to the God who gives wisdom and peace. Let’s choose the path of wisdom, not the madness of sin. Let’s walk with God, trust His Word, and let His Spirit bring the peace and stability Saul never found.
