I was recently asked when giving is – and isn’t – appropriate. This post is my answer!
But first, to prevent anyone from reading this post and thinking it discourages giving, let me be clear at the beginning that Scripture frequently commands giving, and therefore, we should be generous:
- Deuteronomy 16:17 Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the Lord your God which He has given you.
- Proverbs 21:26b The righteous gives and does not spare.
- Luke 3:11 Jesus said, “He who has two tunics, let him give to him who has none; and he who has food, let him do likewise.”
It is a great blessing to be able to help those in need. As the saying goes, “It’s as much a gift to give as to receive.” Being able to come together as a family and tell your children, “This family is struggling. God has blessed us, and we’re going to help to them in this way. Let’s pray for the family and thank God for the opportunity He’s given us to give to them in their time of need.”
Giving in this way is part of following Christ and being a good steward of our finances. But it’s equally true that being a good steward also requires asking, “Is this an appropriate time to give?” Like many areas in Scripture, balance is required. As true as it is that giving makes us good stewards, it’s equally true that knowing when not to give is also part of being a good steward.
Here are four ways giving can actually make us poor stewards of our finances…
First, Giving to Every Need
Some things sound good in theory while being completely impractical. Giving to every need is a good example. Common sense tells us this is impossible. Even the greatest philanthropists with millions of dollars available must decide where their money should (and shouldn’t) go, who truly should (and shouldn’t) have it. Saying “yes” to one need means saying “no” to another.
Second, Sometimes Giving Hurts More than It Helps
Enabling is not loving. When people are terrible with their money no matter how much you give them it will only be a matter of time before they find themselves in the same situation. The best thing you could give is: instruction, counsel, a budget, probably some verses on self-control and contentment. The answer is teaching them to be wiser stewards of the money they have.
For many people they don’t have an income problem. They have a spending problem.
Third, Sometimes Giving Permits Laziness
Before you buck against this point, consider Paul said it two thousand years before I did: 2 Thessalonians 3:10 We commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. Hunger can be a wonderful motivator.
Fourth, Sometimes Giving Prevents Change
For some people it’s in their best interest not to be given anything so they make appropriate changes. Again, if you’re tempted to disagree with this point, consider the damage that would’ve been done to The Prodigal Son if any “loving” people had “helped” him. He repented in verse 17. The verse immediately before that says, “No one gave him anything” (Luke 15:16b).
Discussion Questions
- Can you think of other reasons instances of giving demonstrating a poor stewardship?
- How do you determine when to give…or not give?
- Looking back:
- Have you given, but in the same situation today you would not give?
- Have you not given, but wish you did?
Share any thoughts or questions below!
Most of this post is included in my upcoming book, Finances God’s Way.
Thanks for the post Scott!
My family and I set aside our Poor Tithe every paycheck. We keep this money in reserve for any needs that may arise.
We make sure that his tithe is NOT given anonymously. We want the person/family receiving it to know that the Lord is providing it out of faithfulness to his tithe.
If that’s all we have, we leave it at that.
I would discuss it with my wife if there was another need that came up that we felt we were being led to give beyond the tithe.
Good topic!
Hi Joseph,
Thanks for reading and commenting.
That’s a good approach, and reminds me of churches that keep a benevolence fund.
As a family we’ve taken more of a case-by-case approach. Situations come across our paths, and if we feel like God is dropping them in our lap, then we give. If we feel like it’s not of the Lord for whatever reason, (often reasons given in the post), then we pass.
God bless you Brother and thank you for your ministry!
These are true. You put it into words perfectly. I have some family members who are enablers. Though their hearts were right, they did a lot of damage.
Hi Tara,
Thanks for reading and commenting. Sorry to hear all that.
LOVE your point on enabling. I’ve learned while dealing with family members who struggle with addiction that there comes a time when we need to stop giving and let God provide what He sees fit.
Thanks Kay :).
Yes, well said. As I said in a different comment, my brothers was addicted to drugs. He died of a drug overdose in his early twenties. Was very difficult for my parents to figure out how best to help – and not help – him.
It’s like when parents keep “giving” to their children who are abusing drugs… you’re enabling them to continue a lifestyle that is killing them. I have seen this personally, and you’re absolutely right. There is an appropriate way to give and a time to give advice and love but not always money. I also like that you make it clear to be wise to which charities you devote your time and money. This is perfect timing for this post. I think it’s important as well to make sure we give all year-round and not just to feel better around the holidays. A lot of good charities and ministries hurt during the year when it isn’t trendy to be generous. Great post!
Hi Rachel,
Yes, that’s a good analogy. My brother actually died of a drug overdoes and it was very hard for my parents to figure out what to do…and not do.
I hadn’t really thought of this as a post for the holidays, but now that you mentioned that, I think I’ll share it with that comment. Thank you!