What to Pray for Your Spouse: Biblical Prayer Points for Marriage

What to pray for your spouse is something every Christian husband and wife should think about carefully. Many couples know they should pray, but they are not always sure what to pray for. Instead of praying vague, repetitive prayers, husbands and wives can let Scripture shape their requests. When you pray biblically for your spouse, you are asking God to do what pleases Him most: sanctify, strengthen, protect, and mature the person you love.

Too often, spouses focus their prayers only on temporary concerns. Of course, it is good to pray about health, work, finances, parenting, and daily burdens. But if those are the only things we pray about, we may miss the deeper spiritual needs that matter even more. The Lord cares about every detail of life, but He is especially concerned with holiness, faith, love, wisdom, endurance, and Christlikeness. Those are the kinds of things we should regularly pray for in our marriages.

Why this is so important

Prayer is one of the best ways to love your spouse. It turns your heart away from selfishness and toward service. It helps you stop merely evaluating your spouse and start interceding for your spouse. Instead of dwelling on irritations, disappointments, or unmet expectations, you bring your husband or wife before the throne of grace.

Praying this way also protects marriage from becoming shallow. A couple can share a home, split responsibilities, and manage family life together while neglecting the soul. But biblical marriage is far more than a practical arrangement. It is a covenant relationship designed to reflect Christ and the church. Because marriage is spiritual, our prayers for our spouse should also be spiritual.

When Scripture guides our prayers, we begin asking for the right things. We are less likely to pray merely, “Lord, change my spouse to make life easier for me,” and more likely to pray, “Lord, glorify Yourself in my spouse’s life and make him or her more like Christ.” Understanding what it means to pray in Jesus’ name also helps us distinguish submission to His will from expecting every request to be granted.

Pray for your spouse’s walk with God

The greatest thing you can pray for your spouse is his or her relationship with the Lord. Before your spouse is your husband or wife, he or she is a man or woman made to know, love, obey, and glorify God.

Pray that your spouse would love the Lord with all his or her heart. Pray for spiritual hunger, delight in Scripture, faithfulness in prayer, obedience to God’s Word, and joy in Christ. Ask the Lord to protect your spouse from spiritual drift, coldness, and distraction. For a resource that connects God’s character with prayer, see my review of Delighting in the Names of God by Rachel Larkin.

A healthy marriage is not built merely on compatibility. It is built on two people growing in godliness. The stronger your spouse’s walk with the Lord, the more that growth will bless your marriage.

Pray for your spouse’s holiness

One of the most loving things you can do is pray for your spouse’s sanctification. God’s will is not merely that your spouse would be comfortable, successful, or admired, but that he or she would be holy.

1. Pray that your spouse would hate sin.
2. Pray that your spouse would repent quickly.
3. Pray that your spouse would be tender to correction.
4. Pray that your spouse would grow in humility.
5. Pray that your spouse would increasingly reflect Christ.

Sometimes we are quick to notice our spouse’s weaknesses, but slower to pray about them in a biblical and loving way. We must be careful not to treat prayer as a subtle form of criticism. The goal is not to present a list of complaints to God. The goal is to ask God to continue His sanctifying work in the life of the person we love.

Pray for your spouse’s protection from temptation

Your spouse lives in a fallen world, battles the flesh, and faces spiritual opposition. That means your spouse needs prayer for protection.

Pray for protection from temptation, discouragement, deception, weariness, lust, pride, anger, bitterness, fear, and worldly thinking. Ask the Lord to guard your spouse’s heart and mind. Pray that your husband or wife would be alert to spiritual danger and quick to flee sin.

This is especially important because temptation often hits people where they feel weakest, loneliest, most frustrated, or most unappreciated. Prayer does not eliminate temptation, but it does express dependence on the One who can sustain and deliver.

Pray for your spouse’s wisdom

Every spouse needs wisdom. Husbands and wives make decisions constantly about work, parenting, finances, ministry, relationships, schedules, priorities, and countless daily responsibilities.

Pray that your spouse would fear the Lord, think biblically, and make wise decisions. Ask God to protect your spouse from foolish influences and impulsive choices. Pray for discernment in friendships, responsibilities, opportunities, and counsel received from others.

Wisdom matters in marriage because foolish decisions rarely affect only one person. They touch the whole household. When you pray for your spouse’s wisdom, you are praying for the good of your marriage and family, too.

Pray for your spouse’s role in marriage

Your prayers should reflect the responsibilities God has given husbands and wives:

• If you are a wife, pray that your husband would lead with humility, courage, tenderness, and wisdom. Pray that he would love sacrificially, take initiative spiritually, and use his authority to bless rather than dominate.
• If you are a husband, pray that your wife would flourish in the Lord, walk in wisdom, and be strengthened in all God has called her to do. Pray that she would know your love, feel honored, and grow in peace, joy, and spiritual beauty.

These prayers should not be self-serving. The point is not to pray that your spouse would perform better according to your preferences. The point is to pray that your spouse would fulfill God’s design with grace and faithfulness.

Pray for your spouse’s burdens

Spouses often carry burdens they do not fully express. Some burdens are practical, others emotional, and others deeply spiritual. A wife may carry fear, exhaustion, or anxiety she never fully says aloud. A husband may carry pressure, discouragement, temptation, or a sense of inadequacy that he rarely verbalizes.

Pray for the burdens you know about, and pray faithfully for the burdens you do not know about. Ask the Lord to strengthen your spouse where he or she feels weak. Ask Him to comfort, uphold, and refresh the one you love.

One of the mercies of prayer is that even when you do not fully understand your spouse’s inner struggles, God does. You are not limited to praying only for what you can see clearly.

Pray for your spouse’s joy and encouragement

Marriage should not only survive. It should be a place of blessing, refreshment, and encouragement. Pray that your spouse would know the joy of the Lord. Ask God to encourage him or her during discouraging seasons and to provide peace during stressful ones.

Pray that your spouse would not be crushed by responsibilities, overwhelmed by weaknesses, or drained by ongoing trials. Ask the Lord to provide strength for each day and fresh reminders of His goodness.

Spouses often become skilled at noticing what is wrong. Prayer teaches us to ask God to build up what is right. It moves us from criticism to encouragement, from frustration to compassion.

Pray for your spouse’s usefulness to God

Every Christian is called to bear fruit for the Lord. Your spouse has gifts, opportunities, responsibilities, and relationships that can be used for God’s glory.

Pray that your spouse would be fruitful in ministry, faithful in service, bold in witness, and useful in every good work. Ask God to help your spouse influence others for Christ in the home, church, workplace, and community.

This kind of prayer lifts your eyes above the routine of daily marriage. It reminds you that your spouse is part of God’s kingdom purposes. You are not only praying for a better marriage. You are praying for a life that honors Christ.

Pray for your own heart as you pray for your spouse

Praying for your spouse should also change you. It is possible to pray regularly for your husband or wife while still remaining self-righteous, impatient, or bitter. So alongside prayers for your spouse, pray for your own heart.

Ask God to help you love better, serve more gladly, forgive more quickly, speak more gently, and think more charitably. Pray that your intercession would be sincere and not manipulative. Ask the Lord to help you become the kind of spouse who is a blessing.

One of prayer’s beautiful effects is that it often softens the person praying. As you bring your spouse before God again and again, you may find the Lord reshaping your own attitudes as much as your requests.

Simple biblical points you can use

When you are not sure where to begin, these prayer points can help:

1. Lord, draw my spouse closer to You.
2. Help my spouse love Your Word and walk in obedience.
3. Protect my spouse from temptation and evil.
4. Give my spouse wisdom for every decision.
5. Strengthen my spouse in weakness and discouragement.
6. Help my spouse fulfill his or her role in marriage faithfully.
7. Grow my spouse in holiness, humility, and love.
8. Use my spouse mightily for Your glory.
9. Help me be a blessing to my spouse.
10. Make our marriage reflect Christ more clearly.

These are simple prayers, but they are rich because they are rooted in biblical priorities.

Final thoughts

Knowing what to pray for your spouse can transform the way you love your husband or wife. Instead of praying only in times of crisis, you can make intercession a regular part of your marriage. Instead of praying only for outward relief, you can pray for inward transformation. Instead of focusing mainly on what frustrates you, you can focus on what God desires to do.

When husbands and wives pray this way, they are loving each other at the deepest level. They are asking God to do eternal good in the life of the person beside them. And there are few greater gifts you can give your spouse than faithful, biblical, persevering prayer.