Jacob and Esau were each covetous: Jacob coveted Esau’s birthright, and Esau coveted Jacob’s stew. Their account reveals the damage covetousness does, even among brothers. Read this material from Being Content God’s Way to learn from Jacob and Esau’s covetousness.
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Jacob and Esau: Two Covetous Brothers
Jacob and Esau were each covetous, and their account reveals the damage this sin does, even among brothers. Their account is so instructive that we will examine it and draw out the application as we read the verses.
When Rebekah was pregnant, she felt the brothers quarreling in the womb. She asked God why this was happening:
The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger. When her days to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb. The first came out red, all his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. Afterward his brother came out with his hand holding Esau’s heel, so his name was called Jacob” (Genesis 25:23-26).
The “two nations” were Israel from Jacob and Edom from Esau. God could not bring the Messiah into the world through two brothers, so He chose the younger over the older. This made Jacob “the firstborn,” the distinguished son who received the right of inheritance from the father. Romans 9:11 says, “Though [Jacob and Esau] were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls.” Jacob didn’t earn God’s favor by doing “good,” and Esau didn’t lose it by doing something “bad.” Instead, this might be the most obvious example of God’s grace because the brothers were “not yet born.”
Jacob Shows Covetousness Doesn’t Disappear with Time
Esau received his name because it means “hairy,” and Jacob’s name means “He grasps the heel,” which is a Hebrew idiom for “He cheats” or “He deceives.” Jacob grabbed Esau’s heel to come out first and receive the birthright. Psalm 51:5 says, “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.” Jacob demonstrates this because he came out of the womb coveting, and it continued into adulthood:
When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Therefore his name was called Edom.) Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright (Genesis 25:27-34).
Even though Esau was a “skillful hunter,” he came home empty-handed, exhausted, and hungry this time. He arrived while his brother was cooking. If Jacob had been generous, he would have given his brother food, but he hadn’t become Israel yet. He was still Jacob, so he wanted to see what he could get in return.
Jacob coveted Esau’s birthright when he was in the womb and still coveted it years later. Covetousness does not disappear on its own! If we covet a bigger house, fancier car, or better-paying job, it will not go away if given enough time. This is why some people remain discontent with their marriage, career, children, parents, house, or friends for years.
Esau Shows Covetousness Is a Focus on the Physical Versus the Spiritual
Jacob’s request for his brother’s birthright was outrageous. What is even more outrageous is that Esau gave it to him. Jacob looks terrible for trying to get his brother’s birthright, but Esau looks even worse for giving it to him. Hebrews 12:16 says, “[Let] no one [be] sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal.” It might seem strange to compare sexually immoral people with Esau, but there are many similarities:
- Esau coveted the stew that belonged to Jacob, like sexually immoral people covet the intimacy that belongs to married people.
- Esau was willing to trade his birthright for a “quick thrill,” like sexually immoral people are willing to trade their purity for a quick thrill.
- Esau was impulsive; he wanted instant gratification and gave no thought to the consequences, like sexually immoral people.
Hebrews 12:16 also calls Esau “unholy,” which means unspiritual. What does that have to do with trading his birthright? The recipient took the father’s place and became the spiritual head of the family. In Esau’s case, there was an even more critical spiritual component: the recipient became part of the Messianic line. Because Esau was “unholy,” or unspiritual, we read “The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” versus “The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Esau.”
Philippians 3:19 discusses people “whose god is their stomach.” They think only about the physical and are controlled by whatever they covet. Esau’s problem was not that he didn’t want his birthright. His problem is that he didn’t want it more than he wanted the stew. He resembles every unspiritual person who covets the physical more than the spiritual. God knew these two men before they were born, and Esau’s unholy, or unspiritual nature, shows God’s wisdom in choosing Jacob. For any of Jacob’s weaknesses, he was a spiritual man. Donald Barnhouse wrote:
It is shameful when we covet the physical and temporal over the spiritual and eternal. This describes Esau, and it can describe us too. To prevent this, we should ask ourselves what pot of stew we covet more than what the Lord offers.
Esau’s Regret from Giving in to Covetousness
The following verse, Hebrews 12:17, says, “For you know that afterward, when [Esau] desired to inherit the blessing (the birthright), he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.” This doesn’t mean Esau could not repent. Instead, he could not undo his actions and obtain his birthright. He went to his father, Isaac, but it was already given to Jacob:
As soon as Esau heard the words of his father, he cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me, even me also, O my father!”
Esau said to his father, “Have you but one blessing, my father? Bless me, even me also, O my father.” And Esau lifted up his voice and wept. (Genesis 27:34, 38).
It is tragic to picture a grown man sobbing, begging his father to give him anything. Even though Esau sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what happened. He regretted the situation, but there was no going back and making things right.
Let’s consider finances for a moment. How many people have coveted something they shouldn’t buy but do anyway? They want it now (like Esau wanted the stew) and will not wait. They make the purchase even though they don’t have the money. Later, like Esau, they are filled with regret.
The Blessing of Being Patient and Self-Controlled
We don’t like to wait. Many covetous people want instant gratification. They succumb to these four words: “I want it now!” In contrast, Scripture calls us to be patient and informs us of patience’s benefits. Here are a few examples:
- Patience allows our prayers to be answered: “I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry” (Psalm 40:1).
- Patience is a source of strength: “Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
- Patience permits fruit to be produced in our lives: “[The seed] that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience” (Luke 8:15).
- Patience provides spiritual maturity: “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4).
- Patience helps us learn and prevents us from saying things we shouldn’t: “Let every man be swift to hear, slow [or patient] to speak” (James 1:19).
Galatians 5:22 and 23 list patience and self-control as two of the fruit of the Spirit, and both are invaluable in the battle against covetousness. Jesus said, “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit (John 15:5). The fruit needed to resist covetousness comes not from human effort but from abiding in Christ. We can resist the physical and temporal as we focus on the spiritual and eternal.
The Stanford marshmallow experiment was a series of studies conducted on children. They were given one marshmallow and told they could eat it immediately. But if they waited until the person experimenting returned fifteen minutes later, they would receive a second marshmallow. The children fell into two categories:
- Those who wanted immediate gratification (like Esau) and ate immediately
- Those who exhibited patience and self-control and received a second marshmallow
In follow-up studies on the children when they were older, the researchers found the children who waited tended to have “better life outcomes as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass index, and other life measures.”1 Their patience and self-control—or lack thereof—dramatically affected their success later in life.
In our home, we found a simple, practical way to resist covetousness and practice patience and self-control to avoid coveting purchases we will later regret: we wait two weeks. We don’t follow this principle for everything we buy, but the lower the price you are willing to apply this principle, the better the chances you will avoid feeling like Esau. Wait four weeks if you want to practice even greater patience and self-control to ensure you make the right decision.
If you wait a few weeks and still want to make the purchase, you will likely not regret it. Often, when people give in to covetousness and make a purchase they should not, they experience regret within a few days. Patience and self-control can help you avoid this. You will find yourself saying, “I sure am glad I didn’t buy that,” rather than “I can’t believe I bought this.” While many people share their regret associated with impulsive purchases, I have never heard anyone say, “I regret the time I spent waiting to buy this.”
Esau’s Unexpected Consequences
Why did Esau go to his father to get the birthright when it was given to Jacob? Why was he surprised to learn it no longer belonged to him? He must not have thought he lost it. He would not have coveted the stew if he knew what would happen and how he would later feel. He didn’t expect the consequences he ended up experiencing.
Similarly, sometimes, we covet and end up with unexpected consequences. We doubt things will end up the way they do. If we knew what would happen and how we would feel, we would not covet in the first place. Hebrews 11:25 warns against “[enjoying] the fleeting pleasures of sin.” Scripture is honest! It says sin is enjoyable and pleasurable. Esau enjoyed the stew while he ate it, but his sin caught up to him. Similarly, we enjoy what we covet, but our sin catches up to us.
Esau’s Covetousness Produced Bitterness
How did Esau respond when he learned his brother received the birthright? Did he confess his sin and repent? No. Covetousness causes us to be bitter toward others, and that’s what happened with him:
Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” But the words of Esau her older son were told to Rebekah. So she sent and called Jacob her younger son and said to him, “Behold, your brother Esau comforts himself about you by planning to kill you. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice. Arise, flee to Laban my brother in Haran and stay with him a while, until your brother’s fury turns away—until your brother’s anger turns away from you, and he forgets what you have done to him. Then I will send and bring you from there. Why should I be bereft of you both in one day?” (Genesis 27:41–45).
The words “Esau hated Jacob…I will kill my brother Jacob…your brother’s anger” reveal how bitter Esau became. Rebekah said, “Esau comforts himself…by planning to kill [Jacob].” How often do bitter people comfort themselves by thinking of the terrible things they want to do to the person they hate?
Esau is fittingly connected to bitterness in the previously mentioned Hebrews 12 verses:
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal (Hebrews 12:15-16).
How much “trouble [was caused]” by Esau’s bitterness? The threat against Jacob was so great Rebekah had to tell him to go to her brother Laban’s for “a while.” This ended up being twenty years. During that time, Jacob was separated from his parents and brother, and Rebekah died, so she never saw her son again. Covetousness ruins relationships!
- Yuichi Shoda, Walter Mischel, Philip K. Peake, “Predicting Adolescent Cognitive and Self-Regulatory Competencies from Preschool Delay of Gratification: Identifying Diagnostic Conditions,” Developmental Psychology (1990), 26 (6): 978–986. doi:10.1037/0012-1649.26.6.978. ↩︎
