Shimei’s False Repentance: How Bitterness Destroys a Heart (2 Samuel 16–19)

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Shimei is one of the most overlooked—but most instructive—figures in the Old Testament. His story appears briefly in 2 Samuel 16–19, and Shime’s false repentance reveals one of Scripture’s most sobering truths: confession is not the same as repentance.

When King David fled Jerusalem during Absalom’s rebellion, Shimei came out cursing, throwing stones, kicking up dust, and accusing David of every evil under the sun. He called David a “man of blood” and a “worthless man.” His words were harsh, hateful, and rooted in decades of bitterness toward the house of David. But after Absalom died and David returned to the throne, everything changed. Suddenly, Shimei fell on his face, declared “I have sinned,” and begged for mercy. He said all the right words—but for all the wrong reasons. In 2 Samuel 16–19, we see:

• why Shimei misjudged David
• how bitterness grows like a root and destroys the heart
• the danger of making accusations without hearing the whole truth
• the difference between confession and true repentance
• why God calls us to sincere, wholehearted repentance

Shimei’s life is a warning many believers need today. His story teaches us that hurt people hurt people, that bitterness blinds us to the truth, and that confession without repentance leaves the heart unchanged. Most importantly, it points us toward the hope found in Jesus Christ, who offers forgiveness and transformation to all who truly repent.

When I taught elementary school, I would receive my class roster a few weeks before the new school year. I always asked the teachers from the grade below for insights into the students and to learn about them. Only once do I remember feeling anxious about a particular student being on my list—and it happened during my very first year of teaching. A fourth-grade teacher looked over my roster and said, “Uh oh. You have Victoria.” He didn’t mean she was a troublemaker. He meant she was the kind of girl who posed a threat to male teachers.

I was in my early twenties, single, and determined to keep her as far away from me as possible. I always assigned seats—separating talkative students and placing those who struggled near the front. I put Victoria in the back corner of the room by herself, not even in a row with other students.

At the end of each day, I offered my students one of the “three H’s”: a handshake, a high-five, or a hug. Most students who start the year choosing handshakes and high-fives end up wanting hugs by the end of the year. But I doubt I ever even let Victoria touch my hand.

I told my friends how concerned I was about having her in my class. One of them visited my classroom and naturally wanted to see “the dangerous girl.” I pointed to the back corner and said, “That’s her.” My friend looked and said, “That’s her? She looks fine.” I probably replied, “That’s how they all seem.”

Fast-forward about five or six months. I ran into the same teacher who warned me about Victoria, but he asked, “How’s it going with Amy?”
I said, “Fine. Why?”
He replied, “Because I warned you about her.”
I said, “I thought you warned me about Victoria.”
He said, “No, Victoria’s a sweetheart. What about Amy?”
I said, “I have her right in the front. She’s been fine.”

Even now, the memory saddens me. I completely misjudged Victoria—and when we misjudge someone, we usually end up treating them poorly too. I share that because it’s precisely what happened with a man named Shimei. He completely misjudged David, and as a result, treated him terribly.

The Context For Shime’s False Repentance

David experienced many low points in his life, but I believe the passage we’re about to study records one of the lowest. David has lost the throne—bad enough on its own—but the one who seized it was his own wicked son, Absalom. Much of the nation David loved and served turned against him and aligned with Absalom, including the elders of the land and David’s close friend and advisor, Ahithophel.

David was forced to flee Jerusalem to escape Absalom’s attempt to murder him. He had fled from Jerusalem before becoming king because of Saul, and now he fled again after becoming king—but this time from his own son. It’s hard to imagine many moments in David’s life that could rival the grief he was experiencing. And just when it seemed things couldn’t get worse, David encountered Shimei:

2 Samuel 16:5 When King David came to Bahurim (which is a town just outside Jerusalem), there came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera, and as he came he cursed continually. 6 And he threw stones at David (as if cursing wasn’t enough) and at all the servants of King David, and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left.

I’m not sure how many hands Shimei had, but it seems he had about 20 to throw that many rocks: he threw them at David, the people with David, and even David’s mighty men. If there’s anyone in the Old Testament you don’t throw stones at, it’s them, but that’s how angry Shimei was.

2 Samuel 16:7 And Shimei said as he cursed, “Get out, get out (he means get out of this area where Shimei lived), you man of blood, you worthless man! 8 The Lord has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the Lord has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood.”

The Hebrew word for worthless man is bᵊlîyaʿal, which was so foul a title that it became a name for the devil in the New Testament (2 Corinthians 6:15). So Shimei isn’t holding anything back. He calls David a devil because he wants to be as offensive as possible. Shimei is so upset because he’s “a man of the family of the house of Saul.”

Suffering Tempts Us To Mistreat Others

There were strong tribal loyalties: people from the tribe of Benjamin wanted someone from their tribe on the throne. The only thing stronger than tribal loyalties was household loyalties. Shimei wasn’t just from the tribe of Benjamin; he was part of Saul’s family. We don’t know his exact relationship to Saul, but it is probably something like a cousin. Shimei used to be part of the royal family when Saul was king. Now he’s part of a disgraced family, and he thinks it’s all David’s fault. When I read about Shimei, it reminds me of the saying, “Hurt people hurt people.”

James 1 is about trials:

James 1:20 The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Trials can make us angry, which leads us to mistreat others.

James 4:1 What causes quarrels and fights among you?…2 You desire and do not have, so you murder.

When we don’t get what we want, we get angry, and it causes quarrels and fights. That’s what’s going on with Shimei.

We have this funny story in our family about Johnny when he was young. Katie and I were sitting on a bench watching our children play in a park. Johnny fell off a swing, quickly sprang up, and angrily looked at the people around him. Although nobody had done anything to him, he was hurting, so he was looking for someone to hurt.

When Katie and I were going over the sermon, she said, “I stub my toe and I’m looking around to see which kids aren’t working.” I appreciate my wife’s humility in sharing this, because I have definitely seen her act like this, and I’m glad she recognizes it. But we can all be like this: “I’m mad and I want someone to blame. I’m suffering and I want someone to suffer with me.”

A Woman Who Slandered Me When Her Life Was Falling Apart

A few years ago, a woman on the other side of the country—someone I had never met—wrote a review of one of my books on her website and then shared it on social media. Another woman who disliked me saw the review, contacted the reviewer, and began criticizing me on Facebook Messenger. I know this because the reviewer reached out to me and sent screenshots of the conversation. When I looked at the screenshots, they included the woman’s name and profile photo so that I could find her on Facebook. But I still didn’t recognize her. I showed the profile to Katie, who said she knew her.

Months later, I was at an event up north and noticed a woman who I thought might be the same person. I discreetly took a couple of pictures to send to Katie and asked, “Is this her?” Katie replied, “Yes, that’s her.” At the end of the event, as the crowd was leaving—maybe a hundred people around me—I turned, and she happened to be right beside me. I said hello, and she responded using my name, which caught me off guard. We began talking, and to my surprise, she was very friendly. Since tact isn’t always my strongest quality, I asked, “Have I done something to offend you?” She shared that she was offended at me because someone had talked negatively about me to her. Then it got interesting, and sad: She had several children and began crying as she described how difficult her marriage was and the struggles they were having at home.

Before speaking to her, I was frustrated with her, but as she talked, I felt really bad for her. I’m not excusing gossip, slander, or mistreatment. But suffering often tempts people to mistreat others. And when we are mistreated, it may have more to do with that person’s pain than anything we’ve done. In other words, suffering tempts people to mistreat others, and we don’t always need to take it so personally.

Bitterness Can Cause Us to Misjudge People

Because his accusations are so wildly inaccurate, some commentators assume he must have been irrational to believe them. But I don’t think he was crazy at all. I think he was convinced David orchestrated the fall of Saul’s house because when people are bitter, it doesn’t take much for them to imagine the worst.

Why It Looked Like David Overthrew The House Of Saul

When David fled from Saul and hid in the Judean wilderness, the men who joined him were largely people frustrated with Saul’s rule. So David’s earliest supporters were men who disliked Saul and David became their leader.

David then lived among the Philistines for about eighteen months. His relationship with them was so favorable that he was able to leave their territory completely unharmed. To show how close that relationship was:

2 Samuel 15:18 And all his servants passed by him, and all the Cherethites, and all the Pelethites, and all the (notice this…) six hundred Gittites who had followed him from Gath, passed on before the king.

Gath was one of the primary Philistine cities—the hometown of Goliath. And when David left the Philistines, six hundred Philistines came with him.

When David departed from the Philistines, it was at the very moment they were lining up for battle against Israel—and David and his men were lined up with them. To anyone watching, it appeared David was about to fight against Israel.

And it was in that battle that Saul was killed, so connect the dots:

• Saul dies fighting the Philistines
• David has been living with the Philistines for eighteen months leading up to that battle
• David lined up with the Philistines when they marched toward that battle
• David leaves unharmed
• Six hundred Philistines accompany him when he leaves

And wouldn’t it seem reasonable that David would want Saul dead? Saul tried to kill David for years and occupied the throne that belonged to David. Anyone aware of the tension between the house of David and the house of Saul could easily conclude that David wanted Saul removed.

We know a couple of people who believed exactly that! First, the Amalekite who took Saul’s crown and brought it to David, claiming to have killed Saul because he assumed David would reward him.

Second, after Saul’s death, his son Ishbosheth became king. So Ishbosheth appeared to be the one standing between David and the throne. Two men murdered Ishbosheth, and—just like the Amalekite—they went to David expecting a reward. David had them executed, but to an observer, it could easily look like he was trying to cover up involvement.

Finally, consider Abner, Saul’s general and cousin, also part of Saul’s household. After Saul’s death, Abner met with David, and when he left that meeting, David’s general Joab murdered him. We know David didn’t want Abner killed, but it looked like David had Joab murder him.

And what did David do to Joab for murdering Abner? Nothing. People might wonder: “Why did David execute the brothers who killed Ishbosheth, but let Joab go free after murdering Abner? Joab was too valuable, but the brothers were expendable.”

Shimei’s False Accusations

To a bitter mind, it wasn’t hard to assemble a narrative: Saul, Abner, Ishbosheth—dead. All three belonged to the house of Saul. And David was behind every one of their deaths. But David didn’t have anything to do with any of this bloodshed:

Proverbs 3:30 Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm.

Some translations, such as the NIV, HCSB, and NET, say, “Do not accuse anyone without cause when they have done you no harm.” Shimei is a good example of disobeying this verse: He had no reason to accuse David, and David had done him no harm. Three times in verses seven and eight, Shimei accused David of being bloodthirsty:

2 Samuel 16:7 “Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man! 8 The Lord has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned…See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood.”

This is ironic because on at least two recorded occasions, David could have killed Saul, but didn’t, and even stopped his men from doing so. Second, David was repeatedly kind to people from the house of Saul: Saul, Jonathan, and Mephibosheth. Saul was the bloodthirsty man who tried to murder David, his son Jonathan, and slaughtered a town of priests.

Shimei also said, “The Lord has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom.”

God sure wasn’t behind Absalom’s actions. David would become king again, and the throne would pass to his son, Solomon. God removed Saul from the throne because of his unrepentance. If Shimei wanted to be mad at anyone, he should’ve been angry at Saul. It isn’t an exaggeration to say that every single thing Shimei said was wrong.

I can’t tell you how many times I have viewed a situation and thought, “I can’t imagine it being any other way,” only to find out it was. When we were in California, Katie and I met a woman who told us how terrible her husband was. She said he was a drunk who left her and the kids. There’s more I could tell you, but I’ll leave it at she couldn’t have made her husband sound much worse.

We ended up meeting with her husband, and we found him to be forgiving, gentle, and trying hard to keep the marriage together while she was trying to end it. We also found out she had a meth problem and had committed adultery with at least three men. I suspect she was trying to make her husband sound bad to justify leaving him.

Follow Scripture When Forming Conclusions

This is why the Bible tells us there are only two ways we can come to a conclusion. First, side must be established by at least two or three witnesses:

2 Corinthians 13:1 Every [matter] must be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

Or we must hear the other side and then weigh it against the first side:

Proverbs 18:13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame…

We’re told it’s foolish to respond to one side without hearing the other.

Proverbs 18:17 The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

Shimei’s problem is that he never heard David’s side. He came to a completely wrong conclusion based off circumstances.

Bitterness Can Grow for Decades

One thing that makes this account even more troubling is when it happened. Because of how upset Shimei is, if I didn’t know better, I would think Saul just died, and the throne just moved from the house of Saul to the house of David, and all these wounds are super fresh. But David has been king for probably 20-30 years. One timeline I looked at said David was 65 in this chapter. He only lived to be 70, which means this would’ve been the 35th year of his reign. In other words, Shimei has hated David for decades.

There’s a saying, “Time heals all wounds.” This definitely isn’t true with bitterness. Over time, it can increase. Shimei has hated David and waited a loooooong time for this moment:

Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled

There’s no root of lying, stealing, or adultery, but there is a root of bitterness. I’ll give you five reasons bitterness is said to have a root:

1. First, roots can be very destructive. Think of how they destroy sidewalks or the foundations of houses. Bitterness can cause the same destruction in marriages, families, or friendships.
2. Second, it says “spring up,” because bitterness can grow quickly.
3. Third, bitterness feels like a root as it goes down deep into our hearts, poisoning us toward someone.
4. Fourth, roots grow, and grow, and grow…like bitterness.
5. Fifth, roots can be very, very hard to remove…like bitterness.

And Shimei is probably one of the best examples of bitterness in Scripture. It’s almost hard to believe he could feel this way toward David three decades later. It shows us the ugliness of the human heart, and it can happen with us, too. That’s why the root must be pulled out quickly, before it can grow down deep and get a strong grip on our hearts.

Fear Can Produce Confessions That Lack True Repentance

Between chapters 16 and 19, David had to go out to battle against Absalom, meaning he had to face the army of Israel that he had previously ruled and would rule again. Absalom died a humiliating death in the battle. His hair weighed over 5 pounds, and when he traveled under a tree on his horse, his hair got stuck in the branches, and David’s general, Joab, threw three javelins through his heart. I guess he really wanted to make sure he was dead. Whenever my boys’ hair starts getting too long, I ask them if they want to turn out like Absalom.

With Absalom’s death, something happened that Shimei never expected: David became king again!  When David was returning from the battle back to Jerusalem to reclaim the throne, Shimei hurried out to meet him to try to make things right:

2 Samuel 19:15 Then the king (David) returned and came to the Jordan. And Judah came to Gilgal, to go to meet the king, to escort the king across the Jordan. 16 And Shimei the son of Gera, a Benjamite, who was from Bahurim, hurried and came down with the men of Judah to meet King David. 

Bahurim is the same place where Shimei threw all the rocks at David. Now it’s the place where Shimei will have to humble himself.

Shime’s False Repentance Motivated By Fear

2 Samuel 19:17 There were a thousand men of Benjamin with him, and Ziba the servant of the house of Saul, and his fifteen sons and his twenty servants with him; and they went over the Jordan before the king. 18 Then a ferryboat went across to carry over the king’s household, and to do what he thought good. 19 Then he said to the king, “Do not let my lord impute iniquity to me, or remember what wrong your servant did on the day that my lord the king left Jerusalem, that the king should take it to heart. 20 For I, your servant, know that I have sinned. Therefore here I am, the first to come today of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king.”

Shimei says, “Hey, remember when I threw rocks at you and your men, kicked up dirt at you, cursed you, and blamed you for everything bad that happened to Saul’s house, even though it was Saul’s fault, during one of the lowest points in your life? Just forget about all that! Don’t take to heart!”

Shimei never confessed to David when Absalom was alive. He never visited David when he was in exile, like others did. But now that David has become king again, he expects to be killed, so he goes to David to ask him for mercy. It’s pretty evident that Shimei only confessed for one reason: he was afraid of being executed.

David never believed that Shimei’s repentance was genuine. Although he spared Shimei at the time, David only did so temporarily. Later, when David was on his deathbed—putting his affairs in order and handing the kingdom to Solomon—he instructed Solomon to execute Shimei. David knew that Shimei still hated the house of David and would remain a threat to Solomon, just as he had been to David.

When We’re Tempted To Confess Out Of Fear

We can be tempted to confess, not because we’re broken over our sin, but because we’re afraid of the consequences. For example:

• Children apologize because they’re afraid of being punished.
• Employees apologize because they’re afraid of being fired.
• A husband or wife apologizes because they’re afraid their spouse will leave.
• People apologize because they’re afraid of being turned in or having someone share what they did

In all these situations, it’s hard to trust the confessions because they seem motivated by fear instead of contrition.

We should ask ourselves: “Am I more upset about my sin, or about the fallout from my sin? Am I confessing to restore fellowship with God, or just to avoid the consequences?” Essentially, “Do I really hate my sin or just the effects of it?”

Genuine repentance says, “Lord, I want to turn from this sin because it is evil in Your sight, even if the consequences remain, or even if You have to use the consequences to give me victory.” This is what separates David and Peter from Saul, Judas, Pharaoh, Balaam, Achan, and Shimei. David and Peter experienced godly sorrow, while the others experienced worldly sorrow.

Shimei’s False Repentance Is a Sobering Warning

For decades, Shimei carried bitterness toward David, which affected what he believed about him. He misjudged him, falsely accused him, and lashed out at him in one of the lowest moments of David’s life. When the tables turned, Shimei said all the right words—“I have sinned”—but his confession was motivated by fear, not from a heart that genuinely wanted to change.

And the truth is, we can fall into the same traps:

• We can form inaccurate conclusions about people.
• Bitterness can grow in us for years if we don’t uproot it quickly.
• And we can say “I’m sorry” not because we’re grieved over our sin, but simply because we fear the consequences.

God calls us to genuine repentance that says, “Lord, even if the consequences remain, I accept them, just please give me victory in this area.” And the good news, or gospel, is that genuine repentance can overcome bitterness and sin. So let’s ask God to help us avoid Shimei’s path: to confess sincerely, to forgive quickly, and to pull out bitterness before it grows deep.