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Peter wept, Judas died—but what made the difference between repentance and regret? Explore the powerful contrast between Peter and Judas to understand how godly grief leads to repentance and salvation, while worldly grief leads to death. When Peter wept bitterly, his sorrow led him back to Christ, but when Judas experienced regret, his grief without repentance ultimately led him to destruction. Understanding the difference between repentance and regret is essential for every believer.
Table of contents
Earlier this year, Charis was playing in her very first and last softball game. She was running around the bases, and when she slid into home, the catcher fell on the lower half of her leg. She screamed, “I broke my leg.” Turns out she was right. One of the most common conflicts in our marriage concerns how deeply our children are truly hurt. Katie says I always say two words: “They’re fine.” I feel like she always thinks they’re about to die. Maybe other marriages experience the same.
The X-ray machine was invented on November 8, 1895. Thank God Katie and I were not married before that, because I can only imagine the arguments we would have about whether our children’s bones were broken or not.
Before the advent of the X-ray machine, doctors had to rely on observation, palpation, and patient symptoms to diagnose broken bones. Can you imagine having a broken bone and the doctor wants to diagnose it by pushing on the area to see if he can find the break?
An X-Ray Machine for the Heart Would Be Needed for Peter and Judas
Imagine there was an X-ray machine that allowed us to look into people, not to see their bones, but to see their hearts, and in particular, whether they are repentant:
Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
If I can push this analogy a little further, imagine that instead of seeing whether people had broken bones, we could see whether they had broken hearts. Without this, we are like doctors before the X-ray machine: we are forced to guess. The difficulty is that people may appear outwardly repentant without being truly repentant inwardly. Let me illustrate this by asking who I’m describing below:
A well-known man received one of the most unique opportunities in all of history when Jesus asked him to become one of the twelve disciples. In accepting the invitation, he was able to be with the Son of God day and night. He became a student of the world’s greatest Teacher. When Jesus’ enemies tried to trap Him with penetrating questions, He gave profound theological answers. He saw miracles that showed Jesus’s authority over death, nature, demons, and disease. Jesus gave him some of the same divine power to cast out demons and perform miracles that Jesus Himself used. This man witnessed Jesus’ love, grace, and mercy firsthand. But after experiencing all this, only hours before Jesus’s crucifixion, he betrayed Jesus in a strong, convincing way. Then he felt great sorrow.
If you say Judas, you are right. If you say Peter, you are right. Judas betrayed Jesus to the religious leaders for money. Peter denied knowing Jesus to save himself. Is there much difference between betraying Jesus and denying Him? Not really! And they were both really grieved about it later. In fact, I would argue that Judas looked even more grieved than Peter.
So here’s the critical question: how could a man be as grieved as Judas, yet remain unrepentant? The answer is in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10:
2 Corinthians 7:8 For even if I made you grieve with my letter (referring to Paul’s previous letter that we know as 1 Corinthians), I do not regret itthough I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while.
First Corinthians is essentially a corrective letter, which is why it would grieve them. Paul’s words seem contradictory: he says he does not regret his letter, even though he did regret his letter. If you’re a parent, you understand this. We love our children, so when we correct them, we regret it because it’s unpleasant or even painful for us. Think of the classic line: “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” But we don’t regret it because we know it’s best for them and will help them grow.
2 Corinthians 7:9 As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.
Paul is rejoicing, not because he grieved them, but because that grief produced repentance.
Two Kinds of Faith and Grief
Understanding God’s word often involves seeing things differently from the way the world sees them. For example, James 2:14-26 discusses two kinds of faith. Without this passage, I’d probably think there’s only one kind of faith: you either believe or you don’t. But this passage teaches that there is living faith and dead faith, and there are examples for each:
- Abraham and Rahab’s faith was shown to be living by their works: Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son, and Rahab was willing to hide the spies. They wouldn’t have done these things if their faith were dead.
- Individuals with dead faith are demons. James 2:19 says, “demons believe and shudder.” They have faith, but no works, demonstrating that their faith is dead.
Similarly, just as there are two types of faith, there are also two types of grief. If I didn’t know this passage in 2 Corinthians 7, I would think there’s just one kind of grief. Something bad happens, you grieve, and that’s it. But look at the next verse to see the two types of grief:
2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
Just like living faith and dead faith couldn’t be more opposite of each other, godly grief and worldly grief couldn’t be more opposite of each other:
Peter’s Godly Grief Produced Repentance
Godly grief is grief over the sin that’s committed. It’s grief from recognizing that our sin was against God. As David said:
Psalm 51:4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.
Even when we sin against others, godly grief knows that our sin was ultimately against God. When we experience godly grief, we confess our sin rather than hide it or make excuses for it. We desire victory, and as the verse says, all of this leads to repentance. And this is the grief Peter experienced:
Godly grief produces repentance that leads to salvation because true repentance always means turning from our sin to the Lord. Think about the prodigal son, one of the premier examples of repentance in Scripture, and where he turned when he repented:
Luke 15:17 “When he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.
Peter wept bitterly when Jesus made eye contact with him after he denied Him three times. We know Peter experienced godly grief because we know the rest of the story: he preaches an incredible sermon on Pentecost, becomes a pillar in the early church, and writes the letters bearing his name. However, if we didn’t know anything other than that Peter wept, we can’t say whether his grief was godly or worldly. In other words, we can’t say if he turned to the Lord or not. But the next time Peter sees Jesus, we are given a beautiful description of Peter turning toward Him. Peter is fishing, he realizes Jesus is on the shore, and we read:
John 21:7 That disciple whom Jesus loved (this is John; apparently, when you write your own gospel, you can refer to yourself however you want, and John wanted to sound like Jesus’s favorite) therefore said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea. 8 The other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, but about a hundred yards off.
Talk about turning to the Lord: Peter jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. He left the other disciples to bring in the boat and a net full of fish, which was over 100 yards away. This is what godly grief produces: repentance that turns toward the Lord.
It’s easy to see why Paul says this grief is never regretted: we don’t regret the salvation it produces, the forgiveness it produces, or the changed life it produces. Nobody ever experiences godly grief, repents, then looks back and says, “You know, I really miss when I was caught up in that sin that was ruining my life, marriage, family, or job.”
Worldly Grief (Unrepentance) Can Produce Multiple Deaths
Worldly grief is grief over the consequences of one’s actions. This is the grief when:
- the verdict is read, and the defendant starts sobbing
- people lose their jobs or get a speeding ticket
- children learn they are going to be spanked or grounded
If you’re a parent, you know you’re always trying to figure out which grief you’re seeing from your children: is it godly grief over their sin, or worldly grief over the consequences? It’s difficult to tell because they look so similar.
Because worldly grief does not produce repentance, there’s no redemptive or salvific value. In other words, there’s no spiritual benefit. John MacArthur wrote, “It is nothing more than wounded pride of getting caught in a sin and having one’s lusts go unfulfilled. That kind of sorrow leads only to guilt, shame, despair, depression, self-pity, and hopelessness.”1
We know 2 Corinthians 7:10 refers to spiritual death, or eternal death, because if worldly grief doesn’t result in turning to Christ, there is no salvation. But does worldly grief produce other forms of death? I would argue that there’s basically no death that worldly grief could not produce:
- How many people have experienced the death of a relationship with their spouse, children, parents, or friends, because they wouldn’t repent?
- How many people have experienced the death of a job because they wouldn’t repent of some sin that kept getting them in trouble?
- How many people have experienced the death of their health? They live with physical consequences of sin, such as disease or wear and tear on their bodies, from years of sinful living.
- How many people have experienced the death of dignity? They lack self-respect due to the sins they continue to commit.
Spurgeon said, “If you will not put sin to death, sin will put you to death. There is no alternative. If you do not die to sin, you shall die for sin. If you do not slay sin, sin will slay you.”2
Judas’s Worldly Grief Produced His Death
I can’t say for certain that Paul had Peter and Judas in mind when he wrote about godly grief versus worldly grief, but I can say that this verse perfectly applies to them: Peter experienced godly grief that led to repentance, and Judas experienced worldly grief that ultimately led to his death.
Judas might have betrayed Jesus to force Him to become the Messiah, overthrow Rome, become the king he wanted to see, or to take a position of great power and fame so Judas could join Him. We can’t say for sure. The one thing I can say for certain is that after Judas betrayed Jesus, it didn’t go the way he expected:
Matthew 27:1 When morning came, all the chief priests and the elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death. 2 And they bound him and led him away and delivered him over to Pilate the governor. 3 Then when Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned (this means condemned to die), he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders,
Judas never imagined his actions would result in Jesus’ death. Many times Jesus had previously escaped when they tried to arrest Him:
- Luke 4:29 [The people] rose up and thrust [JESUS] out of the city, led Him to the brow of the hill…that they might throw Him over the cliff. 30 Then passing through the midst of them, he went his way.
- John 8:59 They took up stones to throw at [JESUS]; but [He] hid himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them.
- John 10:31 The Jews took up stones to stone Him….39 Therefore they sought again to seize Him, but He escaped out of their hand.
But this time, He wasn’t escaping. He was beaten, mocked, and abused. It was one terrible event after another, and it was more than Judas could bear. He knew it was his fault, so he took the money back and tried to get the religious leaders to help. The ESV states that Judas changed his mind, whereas other translations, such as the NKJV, NIV, and NASB, indicate that he felt remorse.
Do you know how many times before this it’s been recorded that Judas ever felt remorse? Not once! There’s no record of him feeling bad about anything! It doesn’t say he felt bad when he stole money from the money box, met with the religious leaders to betray Jesus, or kissed Jesus on the cheek, and Jesus lovingly asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?” But now, after watching Jesus be condemned to die, Judas finally experienced remorse!
We Underestimate the Consequences of Sin
Matthew 27:4 saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” They said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.”
I’m not defending Judas’s actions. They were terrible. There’s no excuse. But things went way beyond anything he imagined.
Obviously, the consequences of our sins don’t compare to Judas’s sin in betraying Christ, but we can relate to what Judas experienced because we have sinned and underestimated the consequences. It didn’t go the way we expected. We found ourselves watching the consequences spiral out of control. Maybe we:
- started spending money, and then, years later, we look back and can’t believe how much debt we have.
- invested significant time in activities with no eternal value, and then we live with the regret of knowing we wasted all that time.
- didn’t set a good spiritual example for our children – maybe we didn’t pray with them or take them to church regularly – then they got older, and they don’t pray much or go to church regularly, and we feel like it’s our fault.
- give in to our flesh and say hurtful things to our spouse, then as time goes on, we can tell we’ve changed the way our spouse feels toward us, but we can’t take back the things we said.
In all these situations, we would say we didn’t expect the consequences. If we expected them, we wouldn’t have committed these sins in the first place. But now we can’t undo what we did. Reminds me of Esau:
Hebrews 12:17 For you know that afterward, when [Esau] desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.
Consider this powerful verse all of us would do well to remember:
Jeremiah 2:19a Your evil will chastise you, and your apostasy will reprove you.
God told the Jews He wouldn’t even have to discipline them. The consequences of their sin would cause enough suffering that God wouldn’t even have to do anything to them. Think of the prodigal son before he repented:
Luke 15:14b he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
His own sins began to rebuke him, and this can often be the case with us. We underestimate the consequences of our sin and suffer so severely that God doesn’t even have to do more.
When Peter Pleased the Lord
Peter repeatedly blew it. He:
- Ignored Jesus’s warning that Satan wanted to sift him as wheat
- Pridefully told Jesus he was wrong and that he would never deny Him
- Chose to sleep instead of pray in the Garden of Gethsemane even though Jesus kept waking him
- Recklessly charged forward with his sword and cut off the servant’s ear
- And then, worst of all, denied Jesus three times
But he ended up greatly pleasing the Lord, and I don’t mean pleasing to the Lord at the end of his life, although that’s true. I mean, pleasing to the Lord, soon after all these things he did. Jesus made eye contact with him, and he wept bitterly. He was broken over his sin, and this is very pleasing to the Lord:
Psalm 51:16 You will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
If we want to please God, He is not looking for animal sacrifices or religious activity. But He is looking for a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, just like Peter.
Now, why am I telling you all this? Judas had the same opportunity! He also could have been broken over his sin, repented, and pleased the Lord as much as Peter. So, in a sense, the space between verse 4 and verse 5 is like a fork in the road: Is Judas going to experience godly grief that produces repentance and leads to salvation, or is Judas going to experience worldly grief that leads to death? Sadly:
Matthew 27:5 And throwing down the pieces of silver into the temple, he departed, and he went and hanged himself.
I don’t think there’s a better picture in all of Scripture of worldly grief producing death than with Judas.
Experiencing Regret Isn’t Repentance
Judas went to hell:
John 17:12 [Jesus said], “While I was with them in the world, I kept them in Your name. Those whom You gave Me I have kept; and none of them is lost except the son of perdition.”
Referring to Judas. Perdition is another name for hell…
When Peter discussed Judas’s replacement in Acts 1:25, he said Judas “[went] to his own place.” This isn’t how you talk about people going to heaven.
Consider this: Peter wept bitterly. He sounds grieved. But consider what it says about Judas:
- He changed his mind or experienced remorse
- He tried to undo what he did by telling the religious leaders that Jesus was innocent
- He returned the money
- He said, “I have sinned,” and he even confessed the sin he committed: “Betraying innocent blood.” This is the difference between saying I have sinned, which almost everyone can do, versus confessing the sin we committed: “I have lied, or committed adultery, or gossiped, or stolen, or been divisive.”
These don’t seem like the actions of an unrepentant person. They seem like the actions of a repentant person. In fact, between the two of them, Judas looks more repentant than Peter. I think we would be hard-pressed to find another person in Scripture who looked as repentant as Judas. This is why we would need an X-ray machine to examine their hearts:
Joel 2:13 rend your hearts and not your garments.
This is God’s way of saying it doesn’t matter what happens outwardly; it matters what happens inwardly. Judas said, “I have sinned.” But it doesn’t matter what comes out of people’s mouths. It matters what’s going on in their hearts.
And, believe it or not, it’s actually a theme in Scripture for people to say, “I have sinned,” but be unrepentant. Seven people in Scripture said these three words, but only one of them was repentant.
I always have these lofty ideas for sermons, but they rarely unfold as I expect. I had actually thought I would briefly examine each of these individuals in one sermon. I spoke with the elders, and they believe it would be beneficial to discuss these individuals in the following sermon.
What Made Peter Repentant But Judas Unrepentant?
It all comes down to what they did with Jesus: Judas turned away from Jesus, but Peter turned to Jesus. Keep that contrast in mind: Judas threw down the money in the temple and fled to the tree where he could hang himself, but Peter leapt out of the boat into the water and fled to Christ
We have all denied Jesus in our lives, maybe with our words, but definitely with our actions and thoughts. Will we end up being like Peter wth a godly grief that causes us to flee to Jesus, or will we be like Judas with a worldly grief that leads us to flee from Jesus?
2 Responses
A wonderful article showing that true repentance means turning back to God sincerely, not just feeling regret.
Abdessamed,
Thanks for letting me know. I’m blessed the article ministered to you.